But there's no procrastination like the present. And another thing, autos. And still more. Six months ago I stopped parking in my carport because it was apparently also a pretty hospitable abode for a bumble bee contingent. I would often get out of the car and have to jettison to the front door, always looking over my shoulder, usually uttering a cry of terror. Those things may not produce honey but they liked chasing me around, not to mention making me look like an ass. They especially liked that part. Running around in circuitous paths all over the yard, holding my keys and screaming as if chased by an invisible assailant, now that's humiliation for the neighbors' pleasure. That's what I'm here for, neighbor. And I also pay taxes. Bees don't have insurance. The yellow thing that backed up into my car parked on the street--where it wouldn't have been if the swarmies weren't swarming around me--was not a bee but a taxi and it did have insurance, though like the bees, its bigwig seems to be running me around in circles. Whatever, the car works. But on principle I'd like them to fix the massive dent, if for no other reason so that I don't have to look at the sizable damage to my car due to bees every time I drive. Lesson: yellow things may be closer than they appear.
They are not the only insect out to get me. Taxis that is. But back to bees, they are inexplicably gone from the carport after having been there semi-steadily for a year. Not surprisingly, I miss them. They're so furry and persistent. I love that in a bee.
Enter the stinkbugs. They move so slowly it seems clear they must be calculating something very, very terrible. They have taken to my porch. Previously I had taken to my porch. No more. In researching online how to get rid of the sceeziest bugs in the world, everyone on blogs and chatrooms--or wherever it is that people talking about stinkbugs online commingle--seems to describe them as "disgusting" or "the most disgusting bug I've ever seen" or "these disgusting things." Apparently they are extremely hard to get rid of and tend towards infestations. This fills me with an abiding terror. Bigtime abiding. I've only got a few of them at a time, but they are more than I can emotionally handle. My writers block and facial tick I attribute to the slow-walking stinkers.
I surmised that the stinkbugs seem to fly to my windows perhaps from one of the bushes on the other side of my "driveway" (i.e. path of dirt leading from the street to the carport). Thus the bee-free carport once again remains empty as I have started parking on the street for fear I will have a run-in with the traveling Von Trapp stinkbugs. Also if one of the disgustos were to get into my car and I were to notice it while driving, I would definitely start a seven-car pile up. Make that five-car, the speed limit is so low around here. Horse-drawn carriages not included.
As a result, although not a really clear cause and effect here, my recycling was not picked up last Wednesday. Every single other person on the block got their weekly recycling picked up as usual by the friendly and efficient gentlemen on the green truck. I can only conclude that because my car was on the street where it usually isn't, they failed to see the recycling, even though the car wasn't blocking it but just near it. I see no other plausible conclusion but to blame my inconvenient amount of recyclables on the stinker-doodles. And boy are they disgusting.
